1 00:01:03,796 --> 00:01:06,996 Morning. Morning. 2 00:01:10,716 --> 00:01:13,476 Ah, I had really weird dreams about Mum last night... 3 00:01:14,556 --> 00:01:15,676 ..in this bed. 4 00:01:16,796 --> 00:01:18,316 She was in here, but with a horse. 5 00:01:19,316 --> 00:01:22,476 And the horse was... reading a newspaper. 6 00:01:27,396 --> 00:01:28,436 Do you think she... 7 00:01:30,356 --> 00:01:31,876 ..did it... 8 00:01:31,876 --> 00:01:34,316 in here... with him? 9 00:01:34,315 --> 00:01:36,795 "Did it"? Well, what would you say? 10 00:01:36,795 --> 00:01:40,635 "Made love." Ugh, no, God, no. 11 00:01:40,635 --> 00:01:41,675 Well, you asked. 12 00:01:42,915 --> 00:01:43,955 It's just... 13 00:01:45,555 --> 00:01:47,155 ..well, what about Dad? 14 00:01:48,235 --> 00:01:51,195 I just need to get this part of the tender over for ten. 15 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,475 I thought we'd won something. 16 00:01:54,475 --> 00:01:56,755 Turns out we've missed a whole bit of due diligence. 17 00:02:03,595 --> 00:02:06,235 Can you hear something? 18 00:02:06,235 --> 00:02:08,475 I'm gonna find a cafe, the reception here's useless. 19 00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:10,145 It'd be easier to send a carrier pigeon. 20 00:02:10,154 --> 00:02:12,794 Do you want some breakfast? No, I'm fine. Thank you. 21 00:02:14,274 --> 00:02:16,514 Must be nice just having to sort yourself out. 22 00:02:16,514 --> 00:02:19,034 Why, what are you doing that's so pressing? 23 00:02:19,034 --> 00:02:21,554 No, no, I just, I mean in general. 24 00:02:21,554 --> 00:02:23,434 I know what you mean. 25 00:02:23,434 --> 00:02:24,954 Can you hear that? 26 00:02:26,154 --> 00:02:27,514 Yeah, it's a cat. 27 00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:29,914 Yeah, but I think it's coming from in here. 28 00:02:32,874 --> 00:02:35,634 I'll get the bags from the BandB and bring them back here, shall I? 29 00:02:35,634 --> 00:02:37,434 No point in paying for somewhere. 30 00:02:37,434 --> 00:02:38,554 Yeah, good idea. 31 00:02:39,554 --> 00:02:42,874 Hey, hello. 32 00:02:42,874 --> 00:02:44,954 I don't think you live here, do you? 33 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,873 Oh... Oh. 34 00:02:51,513 --> 00:02:53,153 Oh, what have you done? That looks sore. 35 00:02:53,153 --> 00:02:54,913 That's a Manx cat, they don't have tails. 36 00:02:55,913 --> 00:02:58,593 She didn't like cats. Well, it may not be her cat. 37 00:02:58,593 --> 00:03:00,913 Well, that's her bloody cat bowl, though, innit? 38 00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,993 Any thoughts on who you'd like 39 00:03:14,993 --> 00:03:16,393 to conduct the service? 40 00:03:18,992 --> 00:03:21,352 Oh, she wasn't religious, really. 41 00:03:21,352 --> 00:03:23,072 Weddings and christenings. 42 00:03:25,312 --> 00:03:28,112 OK, well, I'm sure we can help with that. 43 00:03:29,992 --> 00:03:33,632 Any songs or readings that were her favourite? 44 00:03:33,632 --> 00:03:35,672 We stopped listening to music. 45 00:03:36,672 --> 00:03:39,192 Well... I did. 46 00:03:39,192 --> 00:03:41,632 She always had her earphones on, listening to... 47 00:03:43,992 --> 00:03:45,352 ..podcasts and whatnot. 48 00:03:47,472 --> 00:03:50,192 Well, if anything comes to you, just let me know. 49 00:03:53,951 --> 00:03:55,591 I should have asked these things. 50 00:03:57,271 --> 00:04:01,791 It's very common for these conversations to not take place. 51 00:04:03,671 --> 00:04:05,991 It's not something everyone likes talking about. 52 00:04:07,791 --> 00:04:10,231 Yeah, but you never really know someone, do you? 53 00:04:12,271 --> 00:04:14,871 I mean, you know the stuff they choose to show you, 54 00:04:14,871 --> 00:04:16,871 and the stuff you choose to listen to. 55 00:04:16,871 --> 00:04:18,111 But all the rest of it... 56 00:04:21,831 --> 00:04:24,071 ..they can just carry it around in their head. 57 00:04:26,151 --> 00:04:29,711 How are you, Mum? 'I'm OK. How are you?' 58 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:32,230 Yeah, good. 59 00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:34,750 So, do you know why Gran was there yet? 60 00:04:34,750 --> 00:04:35,830 I think she just... 61 00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:38,870 ..fancied a little trip for herself. 62 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:41,870 How's your dad? 63 00:04:41,870 --> 00:04:45,110 Yeah, he's good. He worked the washer. 64 00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,470 'Medal's in the post 65 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:51,710 'How's Mol? I tried calling her, but she's not picking up.' 66 00:04:51,710 --> 00:04:52,950 Oh, she's fine. 67 00:04:52,950 --> 00:04:54,870 'You need to stop worrying. 68 00:04:56,070 --> 00:04:57,750 'Are you OK, Mum?' 69 00:04:57,750 --> 00:04:59,510 Yes, I'm fine. 70 00:05:00,630 --> 00:05:03,430 'Listen, I've got to go. I'm gonna be late for work, but... 71 00:05:03,430 --> 00:05:04,470 'love you.' 72 00:05:05,509 --> 00:05:06,629 I love you, darling. 73 00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,629 Yes, Nick. I've got that on the third line. 74 00:05:16,629 --> 00:05:18,909 Hiya. Hi. 75 00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:21,349 Um, listen, Nick, I'm gonna have to call you back. 76 00:05:21,349 --> 00:05:23,309 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I'm interrupting. 77 00:05:23,309 --> 00:05:24,349 No, it's fine. 78 00:05:27,429 --> 00:05:29,629 I've never milked an oat. 79 00:05:31,029 --> 00:05:32,549 Milked many cows? 80 00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:36,309 Yes, actually, I have. I was raised on a farm. 81 00:05:37,709 --> 00:05:39,429 Where was the farm? 82 00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:41,308 Fischer, Texas. 83 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:43,348 Not a lot of traffic through there. 84 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,468 Kind of like here. 85 00:05:46,508 --> 00:05:48,508 What brought you here, then? 86 00:05:48,508 --> 00:05:50,228 A man. Oh, really? 87 00:05:50,228 --> 00:05:53,628 No, I liked England and I like Ireland. 88 00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:55,948 And I thought, "Well, this is like somewhere in between." 89 00:05:56,948 --> 00:05:58,428 And is it? Not at all. 90 00:06:00,068 --> 00:06:01,308 No, it's, uh... 91 00:06:03,468 --> 00:06:04,868 ..it's its own place, you know. 92 00:06:04,868 --> 00:06:07,468 It's unique. Unique good? 93 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:11,428 Most of the time. Small. I like that. 94 00:06:11,428 --> 00:06:14,868 Look, your business is never gonna be your own for very long. 95 00:06:16,387 --> 00:06:20,427 We know about Pete. Oh, you do? 96 00:06:23,867 --> 00:06:26,307 Was it a full-on affair? 97 00:06:27,627 --> 00:06:30,187 Well, they weren't exactly Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara, 98 00:06:30,187 --> 00:06:32,187 but they were sweet on each other. 99 00:06:34,507 --> 00:06:37,187 So, what's he like? Pete? 100 00:06:38,227 --> 00:06:40,187 Uh, verbose. 101 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:43,107 A hugger. 102 00:06:44,467 --> 00:06:45,707 He's a bit of a prig. 103 00:06:45,707 --> 00:06:48,747 Hey, I said prig! 104 00:06:51,386 --> 00:06:54,746 No, he's fine. He's fine. 105 00:06:54,746 --> 00:06:57,586 He's just... He must have done something fancy 106 00:06:57,586 --> 00:06:58,866 before he retired. 107 00:06:58,866 --> 00:07:00,066 You know, he's the kind of guy 108 00:07:00,066 --> 00:07:02,426 that no-one ever told him his shit stinks. 109 00:07:02,426 --> 00:07:03,466 Right? 110 00:07:04,706 --> 00:07:06,266 Yep. 111 00:07:06,266 --> 00:07:08,626 Recognise that type. 112 00:07:08,626 --> 00:07:09,946 Oh, oh, God bless him. 113 00:07:41,265 --> 00:07:42,505 Rebecca. 114 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:44,625 I know you were having an affair with my mum. 115 00:07:45,665 --> 00:07:46,705 Oh. 116 00:07:47,785 --> 00:07:50,505 "Oh"? Is that all you've got to say? 117 00:07:50,505 --> 00:07:55,465 No, I've got a lot to say, actually, if you'll let me. 118 00:07:56,705 --> 00:07:58,415 Let me make you some tea at least. 119 00:07:59,784 --> 00:08:01,144 Come in, please. 120 00:08:05,264 --> 00:08:08,864 So, who was she? My mum. 121 00:08:09,904 --> 00:08:11,944 Like, really? 122 00:08:11,944 --> 00:08:17,024 Oh, she was charming, thoughtful, funny as hell. 123 00:08:17,024 --> 00:08:19,584 Mum? Oh, that doesn't ring a bell? 124 00:08:19,584 --> 00:08:22,904 No! Well, "funny" wouldn't be the first word 125 00:08:22,904 --> 00:08:24,264 that would leap to mind. 126 00:08:24,264 --> 00:08:25,624 What would be the first word? 127 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:29,584 "Normal." Oh, Lord! 128 00:08:29,584 --> 00:08:33,224 God save us from the tyranny of normality. 129 00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,383 What's your sister think about all of this? 130 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:38,503 Oh, she's horrified. 131 00:08:39,503 --> 00:08:41,663 Had my mother pegged as a living saint. 132 00:08:41,663 --> 00:08:42,703 Oh. 133 00:08:44,223 --> 00:08:46,823 It isn't easy being a sister. 134 00:08:46,823 --> 00:08:48,903 I say that from experience. 135 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:52,823 The world expects you to have this great deep bond 136 00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,423 and my sister was a pain in the ass, God rest her soul. 137 00:08:56,423 --> 00:08:58,263 I'm sorry. No, no, it wasn't her fault. 138 00:08:58,263 --> 00:09:00,703 My mother babied me, and she was a bitch about it. 139 00:09:00,703 --> 00:09:01,783 Hm. 140 00:09:01,783 --> 00:09:06,103 Well, that's about $10,000 worth of psychotherapy right there, isn't it? 141 00:09:06,103 --> 00:09:09,263 Well, my mum definitely believed in horses for courses. 142 00:09:09,262 --> 00:09:12,302 And you got the steeple chase. Yeah. 143 00:09:15,262 --> 00:09:16,782 She treat you girls differently? 144 00:09:17,902 --> 00:09:19,582 You could say. Hm. 145 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:25,222 Well... what would you need to know about your mother 146 00:09:25,222 --> 00:09:26,702 that might help you, Ros? 147 00:09:30,862 --> 00:09:31,902 I don't know. 148 00:09:42,821 --> 00:09:44,061 She wanted you to know. 149 00:09:46,821 --> 00:09:51,781 She wanted to show you the island, the life that she'd chosen. 150 00:09:53,221 --> 00:09:54,861 It's nice she thought she had a choice. 151 00:09:55,821 --> 00:09:57,501 She didn't think to tell my dad, though. 152 00:10:00,941 --> 00:10:02,461 My dad knew? 153 00:10:03,701 --> 00:10:04,781 No, he didn't. 154 00:10:06,781 --> 00:10:09,941 My dad loved my mum. I don't doubt that he did. 155 00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:12,101 You loved her better, did you? No... 156 00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:17,101 ..I just loved her, that's all. 157 00:10:26,140 --> 00:10:28,660 So... what did you do together? 158 00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:32,660 What did you talk about? 159 00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:36,140 We had a... a shared love of history... 160 00:10:36,140 --> 00:10:38,460 of music... literature. 161 00:10:39,460 --> 00:10:40,500 What literature? 162 00:10:42,060 --> 00:10:44,660 Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights. 163 00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:47,940 Edna O'Brien. 164 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,380 Maeve Binchy? Jackie Collins? 165 00:10:52,659 --> 00:10:54,459 This is... So, what was her plan, long term? 166 00:10:54,459 --> 00:10:57,099 She was just gonna busk it and wait for my dad to die? 167 00:10:57,099 --> 00:10:59,139 Or she just saw it as a... 168 00:11:00,819 --> 00:11:02,699 ..dirty secret? 169 00:11:02,699 --> 00:11:04,979 No... No. 170 00:11:04,979 --> 00:11:07,219 It really wasn't like that. 171 00:11:08,579 --> 00:11:10,819 She wanted to make the move here permanently. 172 00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:11,899 No, she didn't. 173 00:11:11,899 --> 00:11:14,619 Becca, please, what I'm saying is the truth. 174 00:11:14,619 --> 00:11:16,579 And you must hear me because this is important. 175 00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:19,339 She was happy here... really happy. 176 00:11:19,339 --> 00:11:22,419 She told me that if anything were to happen to her... 177 00:11:22,419 --> 00:11:24,579 she wanted to remain here. 178 00:11:24,579 --> 00:11:25,619 No. 179 00:11:27,578 --> 00:11:28,618 She's coming home. 180 00:11:29,738 --> 00:11:31,098 I don't even know who you are, 181 00:11:31,098 --> 00:11:33,858 you're just some bloke who found her dead. 182 00:11:33,858 --> 00:11:35,018 You don't know her. 183 00:11:35,018 --> 00:11:38,538 Becca, please... I know her. 184 00:11:40,738 --> 00:11:44,378 She went to Flixton High School for girls. 185 00:11:44,378 --> 00:11:48,418 Her first job was at Metropolitan-Vickers near Ringway, 186 00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:50,418 in the accounts department. 187 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,818 She wanted to write, 188 00:11:52,818 --> 00:11:55,218 but she thought that writing wasn't for people like her, 189 00:11:55,218 --> 00:11:59,338 so she wrote in secret, and she wrote beautifully. 190 00:12:00,378 --> 00:12:02,098 I would love you to see some of her writing. 191 00:12:02,098 --> 00:12:03,618 No. 192 00:12:03,617 --> 00:12:06,777 Becca. Becca, please. 193 00:12:06,777 --> 00:12:10,737 You must understand that I cared very deeply for your mother. 194 00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:27,977 Your bag's in the kitchen. 195 00:12:31,497 --> 00:12:32,577 I went to see Pete. 196 00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,457 And? 197 00:12:35,457 --> 00:12:37,697 She was happy here, apparently. 198 00:12:38,656 --> 00:12:41,056 And, um, you're gonna like this 199 00:12:41,056 --> 00:12:44,056 It was her wish to stay on the island. 200 00:12:46,336 --> 00:12:48,136 And she can stay here for all I care. 201 00:12:49,256 --> 00:12:51,336 You don't mean that. 202 00:12:59,856 --> 00:13:01,016 Hello? 203 00:13:11,576 --> 00:13:13,736 We've had the results from the postmortem. 204 00:13:15,015 --> 00:13:16,735 I'm sorry to have to tell you this, 205 00:13:16,735 --> 00:13:19,655 but your mother had consumed a lethal amount of morphine. 206 00:13:21,455 --> 00:13:22,495 What? 207 00:13:24,775 --> 00:13:26,015 How could that have happened? 208 00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,615 Are you saying our mother... 209 00:13:33,895 --> 00:13:36,015 ..took her own life? 210 00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:38,855 I'm sorry, but it does look that way. 211 00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:46,455 Morphine? What...? 212 00:13:46,455 --> 00:13:49,565 How was it taken? When was it taken? 213 00:13:49,574 --> 00:13:52,014 The coroner will deliver all this in her findings 214 00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:53,894 once all the information has been gathered. 215 00:13:53,894 --> 00:13:56,014 Well, you need to get it gathered. What else is there? 216 00:13:56,014 --> 00:13:57,374 That's what they're trying to do. 217 00:13:57,374 --> 00:14:00,294 Was she taking it for pain relief, have you at least established that? 218 00:14:00,294 --> 00:14:02,814 We're still awaiting her medical records from the UK. 219 00:14:02,814 --> 00:14:05,094 Are they coming on horseback? I'll call the doctor's. 220 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:06,534 Who gave it to her? 221 00:14:06,534 --> 00:14:08,054 Oh, she just took it herself, did she? 222 00:14:08,054 --> 00:14:10,254 Dead woman OD'd on morphine, case closed. Is that it? 223 00:14:10,254 --> 00:14:12,174 Why am I the one asking all the questions? 224 00:14:12,174 --> 00:14:15,494 We are doing everything we can. 225 00:14:15,494 --> 00:14:17,974 Can you tell if she took it on purpose? 226 00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:20,734 I mean, how can you even know for certain? 227 00:14:20,734 --> 00:14:24,374 The amount in her stomach suggests that it was taken in one go 228 00:14:24,373 --> 00:14:26,093 with the purpose of ending her life. 229 00:14:27,253 --> 00:14:29,253 The toxicology reports we're awaiting on, 230 00:14:29,253 --> 00:14:32,853 hair strand testing, will show us if there was a history of use or abuse, 231 00:14:32,853 --> 00:14:34,613 although there were no signs of any illness 232 00:14:34,613 --> 00:14:36,733 that would support the need for morphine use. 233 00:14:36,733 --> 00:14:38,893 Uh, and when will you get these reports? 234 00:14:38,893 --> 00:14:42,293 in the next day or two. And what if someone gave it to her? 235 00:14:42,293 --> 00:14:44,453 We've followed up all lines of inquiry 236 00:14:44,453 --> 00:14:47,093 and we have no reason to believe that anyone else was involved. 237 00:14:47,093 --> 00:14:49,893 And you're not interested in where she got the morphine from? 238 00:14:55,693 --> 00:14:59,133 Ms Ward, we are following all leads. 239 00:14:59,132 --> 00:15:01,172 When we have a clearer picture we'll be able to say 240 00:15:01,172 --> 00:15:03,132 if there's cause for a criminal investigation. 241 00:15:03,132 --> 00:15:05,012 At the moment, it's... Right. Yeah, thank you. 242 00:15:05,012 --> 00:15:06,492 ..a matter for the coroner. 243 00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:27,812 Was she taking morphine cos there was something wrong? 244 00:15:30,332 --> 00:15:33,252 Was it too much for her, being here? Lying? 245 00:15:35,331 --> 00:15:36,371 Becca? 246 00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:41,011 What do you think? I don't know. 247 00:15:42,131 --> 00:15:44,451 Well, you don't have to know, but you must have an opinion. 248 00:15:46,131 --> 00:15:47,771 Bec, where are you going? 249 00:15:49,931 --> 00:15:50,971 Becca? 250 00:15:59,851 --> 00:16:01,571 'All right, babe?' Jim? 251 00:16:01,571 --> 00:16:04,491 Alexa, put butter on my shopping list. 252 00:16:04,491 --> 00:16:06,691 'I've put butter on your shopping list.' 253 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:08,250 'All the butter's gone.' Jim? 254 00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:11,850 'Didn't you only buy some weekend? Sorry, go on, babe.' 255 00:16:13,490 --> 00:16:15,970 I found some things out about Mum. 256 00:16:16,930 --> 00:16:17,970 'Oh, yeah?' 257 00:16:19,050 --> 00:16:20,610 She was having an affair. 258 00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:24,330 'An affair? Oh, Mary, you dark horse.' 259 00:16:24,330 --> 00:16:26,170 No, not dark horse. 260 00:16:27,530 --> 00:16:29,370 Why don't you listen? 261 00:16:29,370 --> 00:16:31,010 'I am listening. I'm all ears, go on.' 262 00:16:32,130 --> 00:16:33,410 No, it's fine. I'm gonna go. 263 00:17:32,568 --> 00:17:33,728 Becca? 264 00:17:39,528 --> 00:17:41,208 This lot can go to a charity shop. 265 00:17:42,568 --> 00:17:43,768 Oh, so you're talking now? 266 00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:50,648 Becca, we need to sort this whole mess out. 267 00:17:56,087 --> 00:17:58,647 I'm gonna go for a run. Now? 268 00:17:58,647 --> 00:18:00,247 Well, yeah. Why? 269 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,567 Is there something you think we should be doing together? 270 00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:05,127 Nope. Right, then. 271 00:18:11,847 --> 00:18:13,967 Pete, it's Rosaline. 272 00:18:49,926 --> 00:18:52,806 Ah... Oh... 273 00:18:52,806 --> 00:18:54,406 You OK? 274 00:18:54,406 --> 00:18:55,806 Ah... Right? 275 00:18:55,806 --> 00:18:57,806 Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. Here, give me your hand. 276 00:18:57,806 --> 00:18:58,846 Give me your hand. 277 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,645 Argh. Whoops, all right. 278 00:19:04,645 --> 00:19:07,605 Yeah? What did you hurt? 279 00:19:10,085 --> 00:19:11,565 I... honestly, I'm fine. 280 00:19:11,565 --> 00:19:15,165 All right, yeah, all right. Just... Deep breath. Take your time. 281 00:19:16,525 --> 00:19:18,285 OK, then. Thanks. 282 00:19:22,765 --> 00:19:23,885 There you are. 283 00:19:25,325 --> 00:19:29,245 Drink the Coke, then the water. I don't have sugar. 284 00:19:29,245 --> 00:19:30,365 Get it down you. 285 00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:43,644 I'm really not hungry. Eat it. 286 00:19:53,164 --> 00:19:55,604 Are you peeling a pie? 287 00:19:58,604 --> 00:20:01,804 Yes. It would appear that I am. 288 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:12,484 Better? Mm. 289 00:20:12,483 --> 00:20:14,083 How's life on the island going? 290 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:17,963 Well... 291 00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,803 ..me mother was living a double life 292 00:20:22,803 --> 00:20:26,003 and, it would seem, killed herself. 293 00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:28,883 And my sister's abdicated all responsibility. 294 00:20:28,883 --> 00:20:31,723 So just dandy. Oh. 295 00:20:33,403 --> 00:20:36,403 Sorry. That's a lot. Mm. 296 00:20:39,603 --> 00:20:42,803 My mother... of all people. 297 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:46,283 Topped herself. 298 00:20:48,642 --> 00:20:49,762 Were you close? 299 00:20:52,322 --> 00:20:53,442 Not massively. 300 00:20:54,482 --> 00:20:57,002 I mean, we pretended we were, cos that's what you do... 301 00:20:57,002 --> 00:20:59,202 Mm. ..but we weren't. 302 00:20:59,202 --> 00:21:03,042 I was the same. My mum was tricky... 303 00:21:04,882 --> 00:21:07,202 ..but it still hit me like a ton of bricks when she died, 304 00:21:07,202 --> 00:21:08,682 like, you know. 305 00:21:09,882 --> 00:21:13,562 I'm sorry. I suppose Larkin said it best. 306 00:21:13,562 --> 00:21:16,082 "They fuck you up, your mum and dad 307 00:21:16,082 --> 00:21:18,242 "They may not mean to, but they do." 308 00:21:19,802 --> 00:21:22,402 Larkin? Mm. 309 00:21:22,401 --> 00:21:24,601 Any more hidden depths I need to know about? 310 00:21:30,241 --> 00:21:31,761 Here you are. 311 00:21:33,601 --> 00:21:35,401 What about your dad? Is he still alive? 312 00:21:38,921 --> 00:21:41,881 Very much so. Were they together? 313 00:21:44,081 --> 00:21:45,281 Very much so. 314 00:21:47,641 --> 00:21:49,001 What are you gonna say to him? 315 00:21:53,361 --> 00:21:54,641 I have no idea. 316 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,760 Thank you. For what? 317 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,560 Picking me up off the side of the road. 318 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,480 Feeding me pie. Allowing me to vent. 319 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,720 Listen... 320 00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,560 ..if you need anything, 321 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:21,840 I live in the fisherman's cottage in the village. 322 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,040 Course you do. 323 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,080 See ya. Bye. 324 00:23:15,318 --> 00:23:17,958 'Hi, Dad.' Where are you? 325 00:23:17,958 --> 00:23:20,958 ' I'm in the shed.' Oh, right. 326 00:23:20,958 --> 00:23:22,558 Dad... 327 00:23:24,798 --> 00:23:27,918 ..the thing is, it looks like Mum... 328 00:23:33,358 --> 00:23:38,678 ..like she might have taken something, like... an overdose. 329 00:23:38,678 --> 00:23:42,798 Yeah, I had a... police officer come round, say t'same thing. 330 00:23:44,277 --> 00:23:46,077 What, you knew? 'Well... 331 00:23:46,077 --> 00:23:48,597 'Well, I knew they were making daft claims. Load of nonsense.' 332 00:23:50,037 --> 00:23:51,477 'They had proof, Dad. 333 00:23:52,637 --> 00:23:54,597 'They found morphine in her stomach.' 334 00:23:59,677 --> 00:24:01,677 Well, when's she coming home, then? 335 00:24:04,077 --> 00:24:05,357 We're working on it. 336 00:24:06,357 --> 00:24:08,157 Dad, could you maybe go round to Jim's? 337 00:24:08,157 --> 00:24:09,517 'No, I'm fine. 338 00:24:11,437 --> 00:24:13,117 'Thank you.' 339 00:24:13,117 --> 00:24:14,997 Yeah, I don't really like you being on your own. 340 00:24:16,356 --> 00:24:18,756 Yeah, well, I am now, aren't I? So I'd better get used to it. 341 00:24:20,436 --> 00:24:23,836 'Right, bye, love.' Bye, Dad. 342 00:24:39,876 --> 00:24:41,356 Becca? 343 00:24:44,756 --> 00:24:45,996 Place is a tip. 344 00:24:47,836 --> 00:24:50,516 Becca, what you doing? Well, we haven't... 345 00:24:50,515 --> 00:24:52,795 haven't all got time to go swanning round the island 346 00:24:52,795 --> 00:24:54,635 with the first bloke we clap eyes on. 347 00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,795 Cos cleaning the grouting with a toothbrush 348 00:24:57,795 --> 00:24:58,955 is God's work, is it? 349 00:24:58,955 --> 00:25:00,195 Well, it's something. 350 00:25:01,155 --> 00:25:03,195 Pete's on his way, and so's Cathy. No. 351 00:25:03,195 --> 00:25:05,075 I just wanna talk to them, tell them about Mum. 352 00:25:05,075 --> 00:25:08,075 See if there's anything they know. I don't wanna talk to those people. 353 00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:09,555 Please, Becca. 354 00:25:22,595 --> 00:25:25,665 ..the police have confirmed that, 355 00:25:27,314 --> 00:25:32,394 ..Mum... took an overdose of morphine. 356 00:25:33,754 --> 00:25:35,034 She took her own life? 357 00:25:37,354 --> 00:25:38,434 No. 358 00:25:41,154 --> 00:25:42,274 Do you know why? 359 00:25:45,114 --> 00:25:46,234 Pete? 360 00:25:47,914 --> 00:25:49,194 Rosaline would like to know 361 00:25:49,194 --> 00:25:52,074 if there's any reason why her mother would've taken her own life. 362 00:25:57,234 --> 00:25:59,954 Your mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. 363 00:26:01,753 --> 00:26:05,153 Wh... Uh... 364 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:15,993 you need to tell me everything. This is everything. 365 00:26:17,553 --> 00:26:19,913 Why would she take her own life? 366 00:26:19,913 --> 00:26:23,393 I said that I'd look after her. 367 00:26:25,793 --> 00:26:29,713 Did you know about this? Oh, don't be ridiculous. 368 00:26:29,713 --> 00:26:32,633 You talked to her all the time. YOU talked to her all the time. 369 00:26:32,633 --> 00:26:35,113 Wait. When was she diagnosed with Alzheimer's? 370 00:26:36,152 --> 00:26:37,912 A year ago. 371 00:26:39,872 --> 00:26:41,592 She started forgetting things. 372 00:26:43,432 --> 00:26:45,912 Oh, you must have realised that when you talked to her. 373 00:26:47,112 --> 00:26:50,712 Yes, but, well, she's always been forgetful. 374 00:26:51,752 --> 00:26:54,032 She said she wanted to put the worry out of her mind 375 00:26:54,032 --> 00:26:56,192 and get on with her life. 376 00:26:57,232 --> 00:26:58,432 So, she got tested... 377 00:26:59,752 --> 00:27:02,192 ..and the results were not what she wanted. 378 00:27:02,192 --> 00:27:07,472 I told her when the time came, I'd look after her. 379 00:27:07,472 --> 00:27:09,352 So she said nothing to either of you 380 00:27:09,351 --> 00:27:12,471 about not wanting to be here any more? 381 00:27:12,471 --> 00:27:13,671 Nothing. 382 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:19,071 But if she was here and she was your friend, 383 00:27:19,071 --> 00:27:22,831 and she was your lover, she must have said something. 384 00:27:22,831 --> 00:27:24,351 There must have been some clue. 385 00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,151 I mean, when was the last time you saw her? 386 00:27:26,151 --> 00:27:27,911 What did you do? What did she say? 387 00:27:28,951 --> 00:27:33,031 Five days ago, we had a picnic. 388 00:27:34,431 --> 00:27:36,591 Went out for a drive. We... 389 00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:42,391 We had a perfect day. 390 00:27:44,470 --> 00:27:45,750 Did you? 391 00:27:48,350 --> 00:27:50,550 So perfect she thought, "Time to kill meself"? 392 00:28:27,509 --> 00:28:29,389 Hey. 'Hiya, Mum. 393 00:28:29,389 --> 00:28:32,949 'Just checking in. When are you coming home?' 394 00:28:32,949 --> 00:28:35,669 I don't know, darling. Is your dad not there? 395 00:28:35,669 --> 00:28:38,109 Yeah, I'm here, babe. 396 00:28:38,109 --> 00:28:39,989 Yeah. He wants to know where the shower gel is. 397 00:28:39,989 --> 00:28:43,429 Do you know, Mum? Oh, my God. 398 00:28:43,429 --> 00:28:44,949 All right, Bec. 399 00:28:44,949 --> 00:28:46,949 Don't bite her head off. I was asking her, not you. 400 00:28:46,949 --> 00:28:49,629 'But you were asking because you don't know.' 401 00:28:53,149 --> 00:28:55,469 Jesus, Becca, have the afternoon off, will you? 402 00:28:55,468 --> 00:28:57,308 Where are the plasters? 403 00:28:57,308 --> 00:28:59,988 What's that gotta do with the price of fish? 404 00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,628 'Kitchen. Third drawer down.' 405 00:29:01,628 --> 00:29:03,588 Right, great. Thank you. That's very useful. 406 00:29:03,588 --> 00:29:05,508 'When's the last time that you sent...' 407 00:29:05,508 --> 00:29:09,748 a card to anyone in the family? Christmas, birthday, Thank You... 408 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:11,708 'The last time?' 409 00:29:11,708 --> 00:29:13,628 I'm not playing this game right now, Becca. 410 00:29:13,628 --> 00:29:15,668 'I just want you to put yourself in my shoes.' 411 00:29:15,668 --> 00:29:17,428 I am. 412 00:29:17,428 --> 00:29:20,948 Look, your mum's died, and your head's gone. I get it. 413 00:29:20,948 --> 00:29:24,468 We'll have this conversation when you've calmed down a bit. 414 00:29:24,468 --> 00:29:27,908 'I'll speak to you later.' Urgh. 415 00:29:35,547 --> 00:29:36,787 I've run you a bath. 416 00:29:39,867 --> 00:29:42,947 What for? Cos. 417 00:29:53,187 --> 00:29:54,707 Thanks. 418 00:29:57,547 --> 00:30:00,707 Oh, OK. You get in. 419 00:30:00,707 --> 00:30:03,747 Oh, God, you can look. 420 00:30:03,746 --> 00:30:05,146 You've seen it all before. 421 00:30:12,346 --> 00:30:13,626 Is that better? 422 00:30:17,946 --> 00:30:19,466 Here you go. 423 00:30:20,866 --> 00:30:22,186 Well, stay and talk to me. 424 00:30:24,226 --> 00:30:25,506 OK. 425 00:30:33,026 --> 00:30:37,466 Yeah, I think she was a bit strange, last few times I saw her. 426 00:30:39,985 --> 00:30:43,625 She bit my head off for no reason the other month. 427 00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:44,745 And... 428 00:30:47,465 --> 00:30:49,785 ..she'd washed a load of cash in the washing machine. 429 00:30:51,105 --> 00:30:56,025 But, I mean, it's waterproof now, so we just... laughed it off. 430 00:30:57,265 --> 00:30:58,745 You can't beat yourself up. 431 00:31:02,465 --> 00:31:05,465 Well, I think we should both be beating ourselves up. 432 00:31:08,585 --> 00:31:10,745 I'm fucking furious. 433 00:31:12,065 --> 00:31:13,855 And why aren't you? 434 00:31:17,264 --> 00:31:18,384 I don't know what I am. 435 00:31:23,104 --> 00:31:24,944 Should we just go out? 436 00:31:26,184 --> 00:31:27,624 What, of the house? 437 00:31:28,704 --> 00:31:30,784 I feel like I need to get out my skin. 438 00:31:41,984 --> 00:31:43,104 So, this is nice. 439 00:31:55,343 --> 00:31:57,063 Shall we go somewhere with a bit more life? 440 00:32:06,263 --> 00:32:09,183 Oh, it's all right in here. 441 00:32:09,183 --> 00:32:12,823 Are you serious? It's like the Star Wars cantina. 442 00:32:12,823 --> 00:32:15,863 You're such a snob. Thank God one of us is. 443 00:32:15,863 --> 00:32:17,063 You all right, love? 444 00:32:17,063 --> 00:32:20,583 Can we have two gin and tonics and two tequilas? 445 00:32:20,583 --> 00:32:23,663 No tequilas. I'm not holding your hair back. 446 00:32:23,662 --> 00:32:24,902 All right. 447 00:32:30,222 --> 00:32:32,582 I spoke to Dad. Without me? 448 00:32:32,582 --> 00:32:34,622 I just felt he needed telling. 449 00:32:36,502 --> 00:32:38,942 Anyway, he didn't need telling. He already knew. 450 00:32:38,942 --> 00:32:40,662 About the morphine? 451 00:32:42,462 --> 00:32:47,222 Or the adoption? Or the Alzheimer's? Or the affair? 452 00:32:48,702 --> 00:32:49,942 There you go. 453 00:33:01,541 --> 00:33:03,621 You've had affairs with married men, haven't you? 454 00:33:03,621 --> 00:33:05,101 Thank you. Yes, I have. 455 00:33:05,101 --> 00:33:09,461 Well, tell me, does it add to the... of it all? 456 00:33:10,781 --> 00:33:13,421 No. Well, it must do. 457 00:33:13,421 --> 00:33:15,781 It's not like that. Well, what is it like, then, mm? 458 00:33:15,781 --> 00:33:17,781 Tell me. No. Why not? 459 00:33:17,781 --> 00:33:20,181 Because it'll make me feel like shit. 460 00:33:22,821 --> 00:33:24,741 One, two. You getting that? 461 00:33:39,700 --> 00:33:42,380 Hi. Hi. 462 00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:46,100 What's your name? 463 00:33:47,220 --> 00:33:49,740 Becca. Becca. 464 00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:53,220 Right, who's next? Do I go? 465 00:33:53,220 --> 00:33:55,060 Oh, no, no, no. Not you lot. 466 00:33:55,060 --> 00:33:58,460 You're hogging it. Give someone else a chance. 467 00:33:58,460 --> 00:33:59,940 Becca. Oh, no. 468 00:33:59,940 --> 00:34:01,180 Come on. Yeah. 469 00:34:01,180 --> 00:34:03,980 Come on. Come on. 470 00:34:06,860 --> 00:34:08,380 Ooh. 471 00:34:13,139 --> 00:34:18,619 It's oh so quiet 472 00:34:22,899 --> 00:34:25,659 473 00:34:25,659 --> 00:34:29,859 Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit! 474 00:34:29,859 --> 00:34:32,299 475 00:34:32,299 --> 00:34:33,619 Oh, for God's sake! 476 00:34:34,699 --> 00:34:38,979 477 00:34:38,979 --> 00:34:43,139 Sing, tree 478 00:34:43,138 --> 00:34:46,778 Sing, tree 479 00:34:46,778 --> 00:34:50,538 Wow, bam 480 00:34:50,538 --> 00:34:53,458 Been so nuts about a guy 481 00:34:53,458 --> 00:34:55,538 You wanna cry 482 00:34:55,538 --> 00:34:57,938 And hope to die 483 00:34:57,938 --> 00:34:59,138 484 00:34:59,138 --> 00:35:01,018 That's enough, Becca, let's go. No. 485 00:35:01,018 --> 00:35:02,178 You can have a drink at home. 486 00:35:02,178 --> 00:35:03,898 I'm staying. Shh. No, you're not, come on. 487 00:35:03,898 --> 00:35:06,658 Shh! Are you the only one who's allowed to have any fun? 488 00:35:06,658 --> 00:35:08,538 Is this fun? Yes, actually. 489 00:35:08,538 --> 00:35:09,978 If you don't wanna be here, go home. 490 00:35:09,978 --> 00:35:12,218 I'm not leaving you here. Well, I'm not coming with you. 491 00:35:12,218 --> 00:35:13,978 So either join in, sit there with a face... 492 00:35:13,978 --> 00:35:16,378 You know what, just go home. And what about Jim? 493 00:35:16,378 --> 00:35:18,618 I only sat on his knee. 494 00:35:18,617 --> 00:35:20,937 What's up? Is he not married enough for you? 495 00:35:20,937 --> 00:35:23,657 You're a dick. Do what you like. 496 00:35:23,657 --> 00:35:27,897 Sing, tree 497 00:35:27,897 --> 00:35:31,697 Sing, tree 498 00:35:31,697 --> 00:35:35,097 Wow, bam 499 00:35:35,097 --> 00:35:37,577 500 00:35:43,097 --> 00:35:44,177 Agh! 501 00:35:45,977 --> 00:35:47,617 Jim, it's Rosaline. 502 00:35:47,617 --> 00:35:50,017 I'm sorry for calling so late, but I'm worried about Becca. 503 00:35:50,017 --> 00:35:51,977 She's... 504 00:35:51,977 --> 00:35:54,057 Anyway, call me back when you can. 505 00:36:05,456 --> 00:36:07,936 Mm. Bums up. 506 00:36:25,736 --> 00:36:27,136 Oh, my God! 507 00:36:39,295 --> 00:36:40,495 Hey. 508 00:36:43,095 --> 00:36:44,775 Just can't go back to that house. 509 00:36:47,855 --> 00:36:49,775 Come in. 510 00:37:06,974 --> 00:37:11,214 Oh, hi. It's Rosaline Ward. just calling to see 511 00:37:11,214 --> 00:37:14,494 if there'd been any results back from my biopsy. 512 00:37:16,574 --> 00:37:19,294 Yeah. Yes, of course. 513 00:37:20,534 --> 00:37:22,294 Thank you. 514 00:37:30,494 --> 00:37:33,774 Morning. Morning. 515 00:37:35,214 --> 00:37:37,454 Thank you so much for... Oh, no bother. 516 00:37:40,133 --> 00:37:42,173 I wonder how your sister's head is this morning. 517 00:37:44,173 --> 00:37:45,413 Better go and check on her. 518 00:37:51,653 --> 00:37:52,973 Coffee? 519 00:37:52,973 --> 00:37:55,373 Yeah, great. OK. 520 00:38:11,613 --> 00:38:15,533 Urgh. Jesus. 521 00:38:38,532 --> 00:38:40,332 Oh, shit. 522 00:38:47,491 --> 00:38:50,091 'Becca, Rosaline called me. 523 00:38:50,091 --> 00:38:52,091 'What the hell are you playing at? Call me. 524 00:38:54,611 --> 00:38:57,371 'Becca. Where are you? It's three in the morning. 525 00:38:57,371 --> 00:38:58,971 'I need you to call me.' 526 00:39:01,051 --> 00:39:02,811 Pfft. 527 00:39:02,811 --> 00:39:04,811 What about your dad? 528 00:39:04,811 --> 00:39:08,251 Yeah, he was OK. Pipe and slippers man. 529 00:39:08,251 --> 00:39:11,171 Worked in finance here, and I followed him into it. 530 00:39:12,691 --> 00:39:15,611 Wait, you worked in finance? Can't you tell? 531 00:39:15,611 --> 00:39:17,971 I was a big hitter, me. 532 00:39:21,570 --> 00:39:25,010 Do you have brothers and sisters? Yeah, brother lives in Kirk Michael. 533 00:39:25,010 --> 00:39:27,930 We're close. So, what about you and your sister? 534 00:39:27,930 --> 00:39:29,090 Oh! 535 00:39:30,810 --> 00:39:34,170 My therapist says we were forged in the same fire. 536 00:39:35,410 --> 00:39:38,010 That's just therapy speak for "grew up in the same house." 537 00:39:38,010 --> 00:39:39,210 You can live in the same house 538 00:39:39,210 --> 00:39:41,970 but have wildly different experiences, can't you? 539 00:39:51,170 --> 00:39:53,370 Sorry. 540 00:39:53,370 --> 00:39:55,050 I didn't mean to upset you. 541 00:40:00,849 --> 00:40:02,009 I had cancer. 542 00:40:06,889 --> 00:40:11,169 Once when I was a teenager, and then again about ten years ago. 543 00:40:15,569 --> 00:40:19,249 So, yeah, we had wildly different experiences. 544 00:40:19,249 --> 00:40:20,369 I'm so sorry. 545 00:40:22,129 --> 00:40:23,489 It's OK. 546 00:40:24,849 --> 00:40:28,489 It's me mum. I mean... 547 00:40:31,688 --> 00:40:33,688 Oh, God, this sounds so self-indulgent, 548 00:40:33,688 --> 00:40:37,728 but I know what it's like to be poorly, you know? 549 00:40:40,048 --> 00:40:43,048 You think life might get taken away in a moment. 550 00:40:46,928 --> 00:40:48,448 How could she do what she did? 551 00:40:53,768 --> 00:40:55,568 I mean, so what? She had Alzheimer's. 552 00:40:55,568 --> 00:40:57,408 Why did she get to just give up? I didn't. 553 00:41:02,888 --> 00:41:04,928 And it's bloody hard to keep going. 554 00:41:24,367 --> 00:41:27,567 How dare you interfere in my marriage. 555 00:41:27,567 --> 00:41:30,327 What did you say to him? I was worried about you. 556 00:41:31,527 --> 00:41:33,927 What were you playing at? You look like shit. 557 00:41:33,927 --> 00:41:35,367 Don't judge me. 558 00:41:35,367 --> 00:41:39,847 Oh, it's OK for you to judge me all of the time! 559 00:41:39,847 --> 00:41:42,047 We're not doing this. We need to talk about Mum. No, no. 560 00:41:42,046 --> 00:41:43,966 When do I judge you? 561 00:41:43,966 --> 00:41:46,286 Asking me what it's like to have affairs with married men. 562 00:41:46,286 --> 00:41:48,086 Pretending it's just an innocent question, 563 00:41:48,086 --> 00:41:49,366 when it's all judgement. 564 00:41:49,366 --> 00:41:53,206 That isn't judgement, Rosaline. That's called having an opinion. 565 00:41:53,206 --> 00:41:55,726 So you're allowed to have a firm, out-loud opinion about that, 566 00:41:55,726 --> 00:41:58,366 but I couldn't mention your sham of a marriage, for example. 567 00:41:58,366 --> 00:41:59,526 What does that mean? 568 00:41:59,526 --> 00:42:01,886 "Oh, look at us. We had life sewn up at 18, 569 00:42:01,886 --> 00:42:03,806 "and we're gonna let you all know about it." 570 00:42:03,806 --> 00:42:07,926 How have I got life sewn up? I do everything in this family. 571 00:42:07,926 --> 00:42:09,326 Don't give me that! What do you do? 572 00:42:09,326 --> 00:42:11,086 You just swan in for high days and holidays. 573 00:42:11,086 --> 00:42:12,806 Don't give me that. You love being needed. 574 00:42:12,806 --> 00:42:15,046 You always have. It isn't being needed. 575 00:42:15,046 --> 00:42:17,046 It's called being an adult. 576 00:42:17,045 --> 00:42:20,605 You're not an adult! You're 18. 577 00:42:20,605 --> 00:42:23,205 You're stuck in 1995, when you got with Jim. 578 00:42:23,205 --> 00:42:25,685 You don't even put petrol in your own car, for God's sake. 579 00:42:25,685 --> 00:42:27,885 "To the moon. To the moon." 580 00:42:27,885 --> 00:42:30,085 Don't talk to me about being an adult. 581 00:42:31,165 --> 00:42:33,085 I've got two teenage kids. 582 00:42:33,085 --> 00:42:36,005 Oh, there it is, the trump card. You've got kids! 583 00:42:36,005 --> 00:42:38,885 Congratulations on utilising your womb. 584 00:42:38,885 --> 00:42:41,605 You know, anyone would think I had an easy life. 585 00:42:41,605 --> 00:42:42,885 Look, I never said that. 586 00:42:42,885 --> 00:42:47,045 You just think that I swanned off, that my life was a bed of roses. 587 00:42:47,045 --> 00:42:48,485 You had everything. 588 00:42:48,485 --> 00:42:51,435 Everything was about you when I was younger. 589 00:42:51,444 --> 00:42:54,204 No! I was sick. That's a given. 590 00:42:54,204 --> 00:42:56,924 But everything was about you and Mum, 591 00:42:56,924 --> 00:42:58,484 your relationship. 592 00:42:58,484 --> 00:43:00,444 You used to whisper behind my back. 593 00:43:00,444 --> 00:43:03,644 No, she used to whisper to me behind your back, 594 00:43:03,644 --> 00:43:06,524 because she didn't want to upset you. 595 00:43:06,524 --> 00:43:08,124 I was 14! 596 00:43:08,124 --> 00:43:11,524 You loved it, being her favourite! How was I her favourite?! 597 00:43:11,524 --> 00:43:13,444 You took that bloody coffee bean necklace... 598 00:43:13,444 --> 00:43:15,564 Oh, my God! ..because you feel entitled to it. 599 00:43:15,564 --> 00:43:18,084 Have it. I don't want it. What, you're throwing that in my face? 600 00:43:18,084 --> 00:43:19,644 And the minute an affair's mentioned, 601 00:43:19,644 --> 00:43:21,004 you throw that in MY face. 602 00:43:21,004 --> 00:43:23,604 Because you think that I'm like Mum, and I'm not. You are. 603 00:43:23,604 --> 00:43:25,804 Well, you might be right there, cos this conversation 604 00:43:25,803 --> 00:43:27,323 is making me want to kill myself! 605 00:43:39,963 --> 00:43:41,803 You know what? You're gonna hear this. 606 00:43:43,643 --> 00:43:45,163 I wasn't her favourite. You were. 607 00:43:46,523 --> 00:43:49,043 Your life wasn't derailed, but mine was, 608 00:43:49,043 --> 00:43:51,443 because you got to leave home at 18 609 00:43:51,443 --> 00:43:54,083 when she had a full-on nervous breakdown. 610 00:43:55,243 --> 00:43:57,483 She didn't get out of bed for months. 611 00:43:57,483 --> 00:44:00,203 Do you know how hard it is to section someone? 612 00:44:00,203 --> 00:44:02,763 Mm? It's hard. 613 00:44:02,762 --> 00:44:05,482 Because she's not quite a danger to herself, 614 00:44:05,482 --> 00:44:07,602 but she's pretty edgy all the same. 615 00:44:09,242 --> 00:44:11,082 I didn't know. No, I know you didn't, 616 00:44:11,082 --> 00:44:12,602 because I wasn't allowed to tell you, 617 00:44:12,602 --> 00:44:16,162 because you'd just got better and you'd just gone to university, 618 00:44:16,162 --> 00:44:18,042 so I had to look after her. 619 00:44:19,562 --> 00:44:23,282 But what about Dad? What about Dad? 620 00:44:25,722 --> 00:44:28,522 Did his best, but he... 621 00:44:28,522 --> 00:44:30,122 he had to go to work and pay the mortgage. 622 00:44:30,122 --> 00:44:32,682 So I dropped out of college. 623 00:44:32,682 --> 00:44:35,322 No. You dropped out of college to be with Jim. 624 00:44:35,322 --> 00:44:40,122 No. I got with Jim BECAUSE I left college. 625 00:44:40,121 --> 00:44:42,521 No, no. You loved Jim. Yes. 626 00:44:42,521 --> 00:44:45,321 But I could have loved someone else. 627 00:44:45,321 --> 00:44:47,921 I could have loved SOMEWHERE else. 628 00:44:57,801 --> 00:45:00,201 I didn't know about any of this. 629 00:45:01,561 --> 00:45:02,801 Well, now you do. 630 00:45:10,720 --> 00:45:11,920 How bad was Mum? 631 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,080 She was bad enough to do something stupid. 632 00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:23,240 But she didn't... 633 00:45:25,160 --> 00:45:27,600 ..because I was there, and I could stop her. 634 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:33,240 But I couldn't this time, and now she's...